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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25775584">Please, Not Today.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/batgirl856/pseuds/batgirl856'>batgirl856</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batgirl (Comics), Batman - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Animal Death, Bruce Needs a Hug, Bruce Wayne is So Done, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Hijinks &amp; Shenanigans, Sad and Happy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:06:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,014</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25775584</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/batgirl856/pseuds/batgirl856</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce tries so hard to be a good parent, but why oh why did his boys choose today to hang around the manor and annoy him? Plus he really needs Alfred right now, and with the five of them constantly getting into fights, Alfred's attention is too divided.</p><p>Solution?</p><p>Send them to Burnside.</p><p>Or</p><p>The story where Barbara Gordon has to babysit two grown men and 3 grumpy teens.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barbara Gordon &amp; Dick Grayson &amp; Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon &amp; Dinah Lance, Barbara Gordon &amp; Jason Todd, Cassandra Cain &amp; Tim Drake &amp; Dick Grayson &amp; Duke Thomas &amp; Jason Todd &amp; Bruce Wayne &amp; Damian Wayne, Frankie Charles &amp; Barbara Gordon, Tim Drake &amp; Dick Grayson &amp; Duke Thomas &amp; Jason Todd &amp; Damian Wayne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Please, Not Today.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have a headcannon that Bruce needs help getting ready for his first date with Selina, but the batboys are distracting Alfred with their shenanigans. So he decides to send them over to Babs.</p><p>This started as a way to weave in different headcannons I have into one fic, but then my roommate turned it into a challenge to completely shoot from the hip and not plan out anything. This may get chaotic, and it may be completely garbage. Sorry if it is.</p><p>Started: 8/8/20<br/>Finished:8/16/20</p><p>Enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"God, I can't deal with this right now!" Bruce groaned into his pillow after he flopped onto his California King sized bed. "I can't do it," he whispered to himself. "Oh God I can't do it. Not today." </p><p>He was supposed to have his first date with Selina tonight. His first real chance with her. He needed Alfred today. Unfortunately, today was the day that all of his kids decided to congregate at the manor. Except for Cass. She was with Stephanie. </p><p>God, why did the only good child have to be gone today? Duke was a good kid, but Jason completely corrupted him in the few hours he'd been here. He missed Duke being a good kid, because he could be a really bad kid. It sucked.</p><p>Crashing. Tumbling. Thump. Probably Damian and Tim–no that can't be right. They weren't that heavy combined. It was obviously Dick and Jason. </p><p>"Get off of Grayson, Todd!" A shrill voice shrieked. Definitely Damian. Another crash. Something broke. Another scream.</p><p>"My coffee!" Tim's screech was enough to make ears bleed. "You'll pay for this!"</p><p>More thumping. Now Tim and Damian we're fighting. Chaos. Just total chaos. As much as Bruce loved his sons, he needed them out.</p><p>Bruce got up and walked to the door. "Do I really want to see this?" He asked himself with a groan. He counted to ten, then opened the door.</p><p>Alfred had only stepped out for groceries seven minutes ago. Seven minutes of chaos. Tim's foot was on Damian's face, who was trying to move it while draped over Jason, who was face down on the floor groaning. Damian managed to yank Tim's foot, sending him flying into Duke, who was videoing the disaster. Dick was nowhere to be seen.</p><p>Then Bruce looked up. A little dust fell into his eyes, but he could clearly see his oldest son hanging from the ceiling lights. No wonder it looked a little dim in the hallway. One of his feet were covering a light bulb.</p><p>"Dick, please not today. Get down," Bruce ordered.</p><p>"No thanks," Dick replied evenly.</p><p>"It can't hold your weight, Dick. You're a grown man!" Bruce exasperatedly explained.</p><p>"But it is," He shot back. He swung back and forth to prove his point. "See–" he didn't finish because, apparently a light can't hold the weight of a grown man. Who knew?</p><p>Damian and Jason were able to dive out of the way last minute, and Dick landed gracefully in a back hand spring. The light shattered when it hit the floor, taking a chunk of ceiling with it. Bruce had had enough.</p><p>"Okay, everyone in the car!" Bruce shouted.</p><p>"Ooh, are we going to Bat-Burger?" Tim asked.</p><p>"No!" Bruce growled.<br/>
***<br/>
Frankie Charles was having a relatively normal day, until she saw some guys fighting outside of her apartment building. She had previously been watching them stand around, as if they were waiting for someone. Frankie wasn't sure if they were here to cause trouble, but they did raise suspicion. </p><p>She stepped away from the window and dialed Barbara's number.</p><p>"Hey, Babes?" Frankie said when her roommate picked up.</p><p>"Yeah?" She heard on the other end of the line.</p><p>"There are some guys outside...they've been waiting around like they're waiting for someone," Frankie continued.</p><p>"Some guys? How many? What do they look like?" Babs asked.</p><p> Frankie stepped back over to the window. "Well, there are five of them. One's really short. Only a kid. Two of them are teens, one of them is kinda scrawny. Another guy is really tall. He's gotta be at least six feet. Tall guy has muscles too. Him and the one with the cute butt are both adults." she added. "Umm they all have dark hair, except the tall guy looks like he has...a white stripe in his bangs," Frankie finished.</p><p>"A white stripe? I'll be there in a few minutes. Let them in and tell them who you are," Barbara told her roommate, wondering why the Wayne boys were on her doorstep.<br/>
***<br/>
Bruce dropped his kids off at a place he knew they couldn't make too much trouble. He left them on the doorstep like lost puppies, told them to stay there, and drove off.</p><p>"Do you think he's coming back for us?" Duke asked his brothers after they finished tumbling on the sidewalk.</p><p>"No, because you imbeciles angered him! Now we're stuck at this random place, and we're going to have to walk home!" Damian snapped.</p><p>"Guys, chill. This is Babs' apartment. I knew I recognized it!" Dick told them.</p><p>"We've been out here for 15 minutes and you've just now realized that?!" Jason exclaimed. "What a genius."</p><p>"I'll have you know Grayson is smarter than any of you fools!" Damian yelled.</p><p>"Aww, you love me!" Dick squealed and scooped Damian up into a hug.</p><p>"Can we just go knock?" Duke asked.</p><p>"Su–" Dick was interrupted (for the second time today) by Tim banging his head against the door. By the third head knock, the door opened.</p><p>"Hey, I'm Frankie, Barbara's roommate. She told me to let you guys in," said the girl at the door.</p><p>"Is she here?" Dick asked.</p><p>"Nah, but she'll be here in a few," Frankie replied as they walked inside the apartment.  </p><p>"Uhm, is he okay?" she asked, looking at Tim, who was walking like a zombie.</p><p>"Yeah, he's just suffering from coffee withdrawal," Jason told her.</p><p>"Should I get him some caffeine or...?" Frankie asked.</p><p>"Oh, no. He drinks to much of it anyway. He'll be fine," Dick replied easily.</p><p>"But I need it," Tim groaned.</p><p>"Yeah, nope," Duke told him.</p><p>"You guys can sit if you want," Frankie told them, motioning to the couch. "If you want something to eat, we have cake and fruit in the kitchen."</p><p>"No, thanks," Dick told her, him and Jason sprawling out on the couch, their heads on opposite arm rests. Jason rested his feet on Dick's chest, and Damian sat cross-legged on Jason's shins. Tim squeezed in front of Jason and leaned back so his head hit the cushion on the back of couch and his back was rested on Jay's chest. Duke picked up Dick's head, slid onto the arm of the couch, and put Dick's head in his lap. The five man dog pile looked awfully uncomfortable to Frankie, but it was also adorably intimate.</p><p>"Aww, you guys must be such close friends!" Frankie gushed.</p><p>"Oh, actually we're–" Dick was interrupted for the third time today. This time, it was by Barbara bursting through the door and demanding answers.</p><p>"Why are you guys here? Does Bruce know you're here? Why does Tim look like a zombie? Why does Damian have a cat?" she asked in that stern tone of hers. They all looked at Damian, who just shrugged. They hadn't seen the kitten before.</p><p>"Gee, we thought you'd be happy to see us, Babs," Dick muttered.</p><p>"Sure I'm happy to see you guys, but why did you show up unannounced?" she said, looking at the dog-pile. Dick was playing with Jason's feet, while Duke braided Dick's hair. Tim was trying to braid Jason's hair, but Jason kept swatting his hands away while occasionally bouncing his knees, finding amusement in causing Dick, Damian, and the cat to jump.</p><p>"Well, you see Babs, it wasn't really on purpose," Dick started. She shot him a quizzical look before motioning for him, for anyone to continue. </p><p>"These idiots annoyed Father to the point of anger, ao he dropped us off at the curb. It took Grayson 15 minutes to figure out where we were, while the others did nothing anything to help." Damian huffed. "May my kitten have some milk? If we are going to be stranded here, she cannot starve!"</p><p>Barbara looked at Damian. "No. You're not stranded here. Go home."</p><p>"I dunno, Bruce told us to stay here..." Jason trailed off, defiance in his eyes. He wanted to stay, and as far as he could tell, his brothers were pretty comfy.</p><p>"Fine. I'll call B to come pick you up. He couldn't possibly say no. Don't touch anything," She told them before stepping into her room and dialing Bruce's number.</p><p>"Noooooooo," she heard in an exasperated voice. He sounded like all of his energy was drained.</p><p>"Bruce, are you okay?" She asked.</p><p>"Do not send them back," Bruce said in his usual gruff voice.</p><p>"I can't keep them–what the hell, I mean, Dick and Jason are grown ass men! They can handle themselves, and so can Tim and Duke for that matter. They could've watched Damian!" Barbara exclaimed.</p><p>"I know," Bruce stressed, " but they would've ended up back at the manor again."</p><p>"Fine–" she lowered the phone to glare at Damian. "Hey!" She snapped, getting his attention. "Damian, your cat is clawing my furniture!"</p><p>"Sorry," he muttered as she turned back to the phone.</p><p>"I'll keep them till 6 pm," Barbara stated.</p><p>"Not gonna work. Tommorow morning?" Bruce suggested.</p><p>"B, where are they supposed to SLEEP?" Babs was ready to explode at this point. Bruce wasn't making any sense.</p><p>"You can stay at the penthouse I own just outside of Burnside. You know the one. Alfred will drop some clothes off for them, just make sure they don't interrupt my da–uh evening." Oops. He let too much slip.</p><p>"Evening? Do you mean date? With who? Selina?" Huh. The Bat and the Cat. Not a big stretch.</p><p>"Yes," he hissed.</p><p>"Fine, but only for Alfred's sake. He doesn't need to deal with the boys and your date drama," Barbara agreed.</p><p>"Okay, Alfred is coming over with overnight stuff for the boys, and the keys to the penthouse." Then Bruce hung up.</p><p>"Oh, wow. He didn't even say thank you," she muttered, utterly pissed. Then she dialed another number.</p><p>"Hey Dinah? I need a favor."<br/>
***<br/>
30 minutes later, Alfred pulled up to the curb in the limo and beeped the horn. Almost violently, all 5 boys  pushed each other to get through the door, racing towards the car.</p><p>Jason got there first, Dick a half step behind him. Damian came in third, but only because he let the cat bite Duke on the ankle. Tim came in dead last, with no energy to run. He really needed some coffee.</p><p>Babs said goodbye to Frankie, grabbed her duffel bag and headed to the door. She went to get in the front seat next to Alfred, but when she opened the door, Damian was already there.</p><p>"Get moving, squirt," she told him.</p><p>"No, thank you, Gordon. I got here first," he replied in a snarky tone.</p><p>"Well, seniority rules," she snapped back. Damian just shrugged and closed the door in her face. Barbara's mouth fell open in shock before she groaned and climbed into the back. She opted to sit between Dick and Jason, because a coffee deprived Tim was a dangerous Tim. No way she was sitting by him. Alfred made Damian sit in the back anyway, so he ended up sitting next to Duke. </p><p>The 45 minute car ride reminded Barbara just how big Gotham was, and how long it took to travel throughout the city. Even Burnside was a bit smaller than a regular sized city; some people considered it to be its own city while others thought of it as a district, or just another part of town.</p><p>The trip wasn't horrible. Babs was fine with Dick's head on her shoulder and Jason's head on her lap, because they weren't being annoying. Jason even let her play with his hair. Tim passed out after 3 minutes, which wasn't surprising considering coffee was the only thing keeping him awake. As far as she could tell, he hadn't had any in a while.</p><p>That meant Duke didn't have anyone to argue with about which Pokemon was the best, and Damian didn't have anyone to get angry at for no reason. Both of them had fallen asleep, Damian cuddling with the kitten. Barbara took a picture of the adorable moment and sent it to Alfred and Bruce.</p><p>The cat was the real issue. Twenty minutes into the ride it kept clawing and biting at her ankle, which really hurt, but if she moved, she risked waking up the party animals currently using her as a pillow. Babs didn't want to call Damian's name either, because that could also wake everyone up, and Damian was always grumpy when he woke up, no matter what time of day. </p><p>The kitten wasn't breaking her skin, so Barb figured she could take it for the sake of peace. After a few minutes of silent suffering, the cat got tired and fell asleep on her feet. Ignoring the stinging feeling on her left ankle, she let herself drift into a peaceful sleep.</p><p>When they arrived, Alfred looked in the back to see everyone cuddled up, asleep. He decided to take the bags inside himself and let them have a few more moments of uninterrupted sleep.<br/>
***<br/>
Barbara was shaken awake by Alfred, who told her he had already taken all the bags inside. They began to wake the others, starting with Dick. Babs then woke up Jason, asking him to carry Tim whom she didn't have the heart to wake up. Poor kid rarely slept this peacefully, or this long. Dick grabbed Damian, and Duke hugged Alfred and grabbed Damian's cat.</p><p>They passed the lobby, and went straight to the elevator. The group tumbled out of the confines of the elevator and crash landed on the couches in the nearest room.</p><p>What no one was expecting was for the doorbell to ring. Hearing the doorbell, Barbara went to the door, thinking it was Dinah, but Dick raced past her to get there first.</p><p>Dick opened the door to see Stephanie and Cassandra carrying overnight bags. "Let the slumber party begin!" Stephanie shouted.</p><p>"Shhhh!" Dick pointed to Damian, fast asleep on one of the couches.</p><p>"Oh," Cassandra whispered, knowing the consequences of waking up a sleeping Damian.</p><p>"Well, we brought snacks and other party essentials. It would suck if we couldn't use them," Stephanie told them.</p><p>"Well, come in. We could probably have a movie night or–" Barbara was interrupted by Damian, who had shit up and began shouting.</p><p>"Where is Isabella? She needs to be fed!" Damian frantically searched the large living room, trying to find his kitten while his siblings looked on with confusion written all over their faces.</p><p>"Who the hell is Isabella? Don't tell me Bruce had another kid!" Barbara sighed exasperatedly.</p><p>"Umm, I don't remember Bruce having another kid, do you?" Duke asked, looking at Jason.</p><p>"Don't look at me, Dick's the one who knows everything before us." Jason shrugged.</p><p>"I don't even live in Gotham! Ask Tim–well– he really doesn't pay that much attention to anyone either, so nevermind," Dick told them. "Anyway, Stephanie is the nosy one, and we all know Cass eavesdrops from time to time."</p><p>"Nope, last time I checked, Duke is the most recent kid. Cass?" Stephanie turned to her best friend.</p><p>"Nothing," Cass told them, shaking her head.</p><p>Then the doorbell rang again. Being the closest to the door, Stephanie answered.</p><p>"Hey, Dinah!" Stephanie cheered. She turned to the others. "You guys didn't tell me we were having a slumber party with Black Canary!"</p><p>"Hey, is Babs here?" A Dinah called from the door.</p><p>"Yeah, come in Dinah." Babs told her, while trying to get Damian to calm down.</p><p>"Where is my kitten!" The child could really screech. Everyone covered their ears.</p><p>"Are you sure he isn't the Black Canary?" Dinah muttered from the doorway.</p><p>"Isabella is the cat?" Barb asked, and when she received a frantic nod in return, she turned to Duke. "Where'd you set the cat down, Duke?"</p><p>"Like, in the lobby," he replied. "It kept scratching my face."</p><p>"Oh," Dinah whispered to herself in realization. "You mean the little gray kitten?" Everyone nodded. "I kinda put it out on the street...oops."</p><p>"My precious! My precious little kitten! My Isabella! You put her out on the street?!?!!" Somehow, Damian's screech intensified by tenfold."Now she will starve! I should end all of you!" Damian stomped past everyone, and into the elevator.</p><p>"Damian, wait!" Barbara called out, but the doors had already closed. "Dinah! You were supposed to be making this easier!" She whined. Tim gave her a sad little sympathy pat. Apparently he was awake now too. After all that yelling, who wouldn't be?</p><p>"When are we going to eat?" Stephanie asked, despite having just gotten there minutes ago.</p><p>"You guys can decide what you want, and since you asked, you can go get it." Babs said looking at Stephanie. </p><p>After some shared looks, the boys all yelled "Bat-Burger!"</p><p>"Okay, well, I have to go find Dami," Barbara turned to the elevator.</p><p>"Ooh wait, I wanna help! C'mon Jay!" Dick yelled, grabbing Jason's arm.</p><p>"Why me?" Jason groaned.</p><p>"Cuz, we're like, the OG batkids." Dick replied, rolling his eyes.</p><p>"Whatever," Jason and Barbara muttered at the same time as they got in the elevator with Steph and Cass.</p><p>"Dinah, please make sure nothing too bad happens!" Barbara shouted as the elevator doors closed.<br/>
***</p><p>"Hey guys, what if I ordered <i>everything</i> on the menu?" Steph asked, bouncing up and down.</p><p>"Oooh! What about 5 of everything?!" Dick shouted.</p><p>"Even better!" Stephanie yelled back. Now they were both bouncing.</p><p>"Please, don't bouce. I can't be stuck in this elevator." Barbara sighed as Jason groaned from the floor. "What's wrong with you?" she asked.</p><p>"They're so... unbearably <i>happy</i>. And Dickface stepped on my hand." He complained. Cass and Babs patted him on the shoulder.</p><p>"Sympathy pat," Cass said simply.</p><p>Then the elevator doors opened. As Stephanie and Cassandra headed to the parking garage, the 'OG Batkids' headed outside to find their little brother.</p><p>"Damian!" Dick called. No response. "Damian!"</p><p>"Demonbrat! Demonbrat, where are you?" Jason yelled. Still no response.</p><p>"Dami? We want to help look for Isabella!" Barbara tried. Nothing. "Okay guys, fan out, search the perimeter." </p><p>After an almost hour of searching the block up and down, they hadn't found anything. The adults regrouped in the alley behind the penthouse building.</p><p>"We've searched for an hour but we haven't found Damian or the cat!" Dick groaned.</p><p>"Wow, good command of the obvious, Dickhead." Jason snapped.</p><p>"Can you not? It hasn't even been a full hour yet," Barbara sighed. Then they heard something rustle by the dumpster. "Dames, is that you?" <i> Sniff</i>.</p><p>They found him curled up between two trashcans, clutching something furry tightly in his arms.</p><p>"Hey, it's okay, Dami," Dick cooed. "You can come out, it's us. Another sniff. Damian slowly stood, still holding on to the little gray furball. It was the kitten. It wasn't moving.</p><p>"Maybe it's alseep...?" Jason muttered.</p><p>"S–she–" Damian couldn't even finish. He broke down in Dick's arms, sobbing. Barbara carefully pried the dead kitten from his arms. No sense in holding on to it now. Dick picked him up, cradling the 13 year old like a toddler. Jason leaned down, cupping Damian's face and wiping away tears.</p><p>"Hey, bud, it's gonna be okay. You are going to be fine. Okay?" Jason said softly. </p><p>"Really?" Damian sobbed, clutching Dick tighter. "She g–got hit by a–a car! I s–saw it!" </p><p>"You're going to be okay, Lil D," Jay assured him. "I promise."</p><p>"Shit," Barbara cursed under her breath. "Dami, we need to go inside, okay?" He nodded. Dick began to walk out the alley, Barbara following him, but Jason grabbed her arm. They waited until Damian was out of earshot.</p><p>"What're you going to do with the–<i>that</i>?" Jason nodded towards the cat. "We don't exactly have a backyard we can bury it in."</p><p>"I have no idea. All of this is way to much for me to handle," she admitted.</p><p>"Umm is there a park Bruce owns anywhere around here?" he asked. </p><p>"Actually, yeah. Follow me," she told him.<br/>
***</p><p>When Stephanie and Cassandra placed their order, the cashier told them it could be forty-five minutes to an hour until the food would be ready. They spent most of their time in the car, listening to music and singing along.</p><p>"If I was you, I'd wanna be me too!" Stephanie screeched. Cass plugged her ears but hummed along to the beat. As the song ended, Stephanie contemplated how they were going to bring the food back to the car.</p><p>"Y'know Cass, when we decided to order five of every meal, we really should have thought of how we were supposed to carry it." Stephanie mused.</p><p>Cassandra just shook her head and sighed. "Shopping cart?" Cass asked, pointing to the Walmart across the street.</p><p>"Shopping cart." Steph agreed, grinning. Cass got out of the car and took off running, intent on getting the cart out quickly and quietly before their order was ready.</p><p>When their food was ready, Cass drove the shopping cart inside the restaurant, causing alarmed, shocked, and confused faces throughout the room. Stephanie carelessly tossed all the food into the larger part of the buggy while Cassandra carefully sat the drink carton in the seat part.</p><p>"Well, where am I supposed to sit?" Stephanie asked looking genuinely confused. Cass looked at her with this 'are you serious?' kind of expression. One, there was no way Steph could fit in the kiddie seat, and two, who was going to drive the car if she was in the cart?</p><p>"You drive the car," Cass told her.</p><p>"Why me?" Steph whined.</p><p>Cassandra simply said, "I hate driving." and backed the shopping cart out of the building, leaving a plethora of confused people, wondering what the heck they had just witnessed.</p><p>After she set everything in the shopping cart straight, Cass took off running, full speed ahead, pushing the cart at top speeds. She zoomed through the parking lot, and almost flipped the cart over getting it onto the sidewalk.</p><p>Stephanie pulled up next to her in the car and rolled the window down. "Y'know there was an easier way to get up there, right?" Steph asked, pointing at the dip where the sidewalk met ground level so cars could get in and out of the parking lot.</p><p>"I did," Cass said nodding. "My way...more fun."</p><p>"That's my girl!" Stephanie proudly exclaimed, high-fiveing Cass before letting her window up and peeling out of the parking lot. While Steph had to deal with car traffic, Cassandra had to worry about swerving people (who were a bit more unpredictable) as she zoomed past on the sidewalk like a madwoman.<br/>
***<br/>
Dinah was having a rough time. It wasn't so hard at the beginning, but she got cocky. The boys had mostly just looked at their phones in silence, Duke occasionally looked at whatever was on the screen.

However, in the second she'd turned her head, Tim and Duke disappeared. She frantically searched the house trying to find them until she got a message on her phone. It was from Tim.</p><p>'<i>If you want Duke back, you will bring all the coffee hidden throughout the penthouse and bring it to the fourth floor, freshly brewed. I know of eight different stashes, but I could not find them. Bring them within the hour and Duke will be returned unharmed. –Tim</i></p><p><i>P.S the clock is ticking :)</i>'</p><p>Ugh. Dinah was doomed. She was never good at scavenger hunts and least those gave actual clues. Her best chance was to ask the others. If they didn't know, she'd have to go out and buy some.</p><p>At that moment, the elevator dinged and the doors opened. "Oh, thank God! Tim–"</p><p>"Sorry, no time to help!" Dick exclaimed, running past her with Damian curled up in his arms. He ran straight to the kitchen and started making hot chocolate one-handed, holding Damian's weight with his other one.</p><p>Well then. Back to square one. The doors dinged again, but this time, it was Stephanie and Cassandra who were stepping out if the elevator. "Food's here!" Steph yelled as Cass pushed the shopping cart into the family room.</p><p>"Okay, maybe you girls can help me," Dinah told them, electing to ignore the cart.</p><p>"Help the great Black Canary? I'd be honored to!" Stephanie gushed. Cass nodded eagerly.</p><p>"Calm down, you've worked with me before," Dinah muttered. "Okay, so Tim is holding Duke for ransom and–"</p><p>"We have to find all the hidden coffee stashes? Yeah, no. He's tried this before, but I guess since you weren't there the first time I guess he figured he could pull the wool over your eyes." Stephanie told Dinah, rolling her eyes.</p><p>"Oh. He said he's on the–" This time, Cassandra was interrupting.</p><p>"Don't believe him. It's a trick," Cass said.</p><p>"Yeah, last time he claimed to be on the roof of the manor when he was really in Alfred's closet," Steph scoffed. "I got this." The blonde teen paused for a moment in thought before her eyes lit up. "Hey Timbo! Robin could kick Red Robin's ass halfway into next week anytime!"</p><p>Stomping was heard as Tim came out and stood on the top stair for a half second before yelling "FUCKING FIGHT ME!" Cass dashed up the stairs and through the door Tim came out of to secure Duke's safety before he even realized he'd been duped.</p><p>"No coffee Tim... easy to trick," Cassandra told Duke, struggling to find the correct term. </p><p>"I think you mean 'gullible'," Duke corrected her, sounding out the word for her.</p><p>"Gul-li-ble," she tried.</p><p>"Yep! It means easily fooled," he informed his sister. They all tried to help Cass out with her vocabulary, giving her better words to use and showing her how to say them. Her language skills were starting to progress a little quicker now that she'd gotten the hang of sounding the words out and everyone was super proud of her progress.<br/>
***<br/>
"Umm, this isn't exactly a park, Barbie. Actually, no, it's literally a garden," Jason pointed out after they arrived in 'the place' about two blocks away.</p><p>"Well, it was the closest place. You were the one complaining about how far we walked," she scoffed. "Not to mention the weird looks we were getting because I was carrying around a dead animal."</p><p>Jason just shrugged and grabbed a shovel. "How do you know it's okay to bury it here?"</p><p>"It's owned by Bruce and taken care of by Poison Ivy herself. Since she's a friend of the Birds, I'm sure she wouldn't mind," Babs explained.</p><p>"Man, the Birds of Prey are friends with <i>everyone</i>," Jason commented as he began to dig the hole. After a few minutes, the hole was deep enough to bury the kitten. Barbara left stones around the grave area, and a note wedged in between two of them for Pamela. </p><p>They took off running, racing to see who could get back first. Barbara saw Jason cut down some alleyways, so she cheated and used the rooftops to her advantage. After running that far, both of them were ready to pass out.</p><p>"I...won..." he panted.</p><p>"No way, I was here before you," she argued.</p><p>"Race to the elevator?" Jay asked.</p><p>"Yeah, sure." Halfway through the race, Barbara jumped on his back, causing him to stumble a little before she pushed off from his shoulders to flip gracefully and land in front of him. She hit the ground running and beat him.</p><p>"Okay, you totally cheated," Jason complained.</p><p>"How is using my gymnastics skill to my advantage cheating? You never said I couldn't," Barbara defended.</p><p>"Yeah, well I didn't shoot at you," he grumbled. "Sure did think about it though."</p><p>Her eyes widened. "You wouldn't."</p><p>"Calm down, it's just rubber bullets," he assured her, patting his hip holster.</p><p>"Well, you could've, because no one said you couldn't. You played yourself," Barb told him as the elevator doors opened. Jason just sighed sadly.<br/>
***</p><p>Everyone was cuddled up on the couch, much like the dog-pile from earlier, but more people. Empty boxes and bags were everywhere from all the food that was eaten. Lego Batman: Family Matters was playing in the background as everyone complained about the 'bad characterization' and 'unrealistic acting'.</p><p>"Guys, chill, it's just a Lego movie. All of these a parodies," Dick told them, waving his hand around. He was careful not to whack Duke in the face, because he was splayed on the arm rest next to Dick. </p><p>"Hmmph. This movie makes me look like a snivelling child who can't protect himself," Damian snorted, seemingly feeling better. With his head in Barbara's lap and his feet in Dick's, he wriggled a bit to get a better view.</p><p>"Stop moving!" Dick and Jason grumbled. Their heads were on Barb's shoulders, and the little movement jostled them, along with Tim who was sitting on Jason's legs. Steph was leaning on Tim's shoulder while sitting on Jay's knees. Cassandra sat criss cross on Jason's shins, and Dinah sat on the other arm rest.</p><p>"Why am I not in this movie? I'm a core member of this family!" Tim complained.</p><p>"Yeah! I could've been in this instead of Kate!" Stephanie argued. Cass nodded her head in agreement. "Ha! Cass agrees with me!"</p><p>"That doesn't mean you're right," Jason chimed. "Oh, wow, my hair is like, <i>perfect</i>!" Everyone groaned.</p><p>"You're so obsessed with yourself," Tim stated.</p><p>"Yeah, well, it's not my fault I'm all that and a bag of chips," Jason sassed. Everyone rolled their eyes.</p><p>"Sure, Jay," Stephanie teased. He frowned, but didn't say anything.</p><p>"Will you guys just shut up? I'm trying to hear the movie," Damian murmured.</p><p>"Wait, but why do I act slow?" Dick questioned.</p><p>"Uhh, because you are?" Jason said.</p><p>"That's mean, Jay," Babs chastised, slapping him on the back of his head. Dick silently sulked on the other side of her.</p><p>"Ow, Barbie," Jason growled. "That hurt–"</p><p>"I said quiet!" Damian yelled, eliciting a snicker from Dinah, Duke, Steph, and Cass.</p><p>Dick suddenly shot up. "Oh, shit! We never went on patrol!"</p><p>Well. Movie night was going to have to wait.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ahhhh! It's Jason Todd's Birthday! Or, it was when I finally finished this.</p><p>I've been working on this for a solid week now, so I left it in a place where I could pick it back up and write more Burnside adventures if I was motivated to.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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